Yes, I am well. You must forgive me, a good deal of sudden business in Kings Landing has kept me very busy. I am quite behind on answering my ravens.
Cersei’s breath caught in her throat as he pulled away from her, thinking he’d changed his mind already. And then came that hoarse whisper. Come here. Sucha simple choice of words, and yet the sent a shock through her body. She took a moment to straighten her robe back over her body, but didn’t bother to tie it. It would only be another obstacle between herself and the only person who mattered to her.
Slowly, achingly, she made her way across the bed. The dark had hidden her brother away from her, and it made her sad she couldn’t see him, but maybe it was better this way just for tonight. Uncertain of how to position herself, she settled herself across his lap, laying her head on his shoulder and leaning against his chest.
Jaime moved back, swallowing thickly. He was glad for the dark, glad that it hid his arousal, his fear, his nerves. He took a deep breath, careful not to be too loud as he heard her start to move. He felt the bed dip and knew she was coming closer. Jaime felt her settle on his lap and his hands automatically curled around her, holding her close.
Swallowing thickly again, Jaime dropped a kiss to the top of her head, hugging her tighter. “Cersei…” He was nervous, awkward, something he only every seemed to feel around her.
“Nor do I, sweet brother,” she told him softly, comforting. “We can learn together, as we’ve done all things.” Her arm lifted over her head, wrapping around his neck, so her fingers could tangle in his hair. “We were meant to be together. You know it as certainly as I do.”
“There’s no need to hurry, dear brother. We have all night, and many nights to come,” she whispered gently.
Jaime swallowed and dropped his face back down to her neck, kissing the skin there gently. His sister, his beloved sister, deserved to be worshiped. Jaime nuzzled and kissed gently, pulling her closer with an arm around her stomach, pressing skin against skin.
Meant to be together. Of course they were. They were each a part of the other, had been since birth and they would be till death. Jamie groaned softly as her fingers threaded their way into his hair. Slowly, so slowly, Jaime pulled back from her, moving on the bed. “Come here…”
If I ever married Brienne, I suppose only you Greyfaces would come anyway!
“You want me,” she said, arching back against him as he pressed against her. “Yet you pushed me away. Never do that again.” All it took was his simple confession that he’d already considered the things that kept her up at night, coupled with the way his body reacted to her, to make her feel in control again.
With slow measured movements, giving him a chance to object, she untied her robe, letting it fall loosely around her, leaving her body covered but undefended. “There is no one but you,” she said, catching his hand and bringing it under her robe, to rest high on her thigh. Her legs parted, but she did not force him to move.
Jaime nodded, swallowing when he heard the commanding tone in his sister’s voice. It was something he didn’t think he’d ever heard directed at him. It was the tone that Cersei would use one day when she was a woman of power and would have a castle at her feet.
He swallowed thickly as she started to pull her robe over, leaver her naked and open for him. Jaime didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to react. He was surprised at the feeling of her skin suddenly under his fingers, how soft her thigh was, how warm it was there. Jaime didn’t know how to touch her. He’d only heard stories from the other men, bawdy tales and stories that made even Jaime blush. “I…I don’t know…”
If it were possible, Cersei’s face grew hotter. The bed under her was soft, the stone floor cold, and the air was freezing around her. She tried to focus on those things, instead of the way his body pressed against hers, or the way his hands stayed around her, possessive, or the way his warm breath felt against her ear. But it didn’t help. And she knew it was no good not to tell him what he’d asked; she would only give in later and tell him all.
“The women…They spoke of how it feels to have a man kiss you…between your legs,” she said, mumbling out the last few words. “And of the way he taste on your tongue when you take him into your mouth, this part of him,” she said, wiggling her hips back against the hardest part of him. “They say all men taste salty, but I couldn’t help but imagining how you, dear brother, will taste sweet.” Cersei felt dizzy, confused, wondering if she was saying the wrong things, sure she was.
Jaime felt warm, like the cold air surrounding them was suddenly filled with fire and pressing down around them. His fingers itched to clench around something, fabric, flesh, anything just to clear his mind from what Cersei was saying to him. A groan slipped from his lips as she spoke and he couldn’t deny that he’d wondered the same things about her, about how she would feel under his hands, against his mouth, completely surrounding him.
As she moved her hips against him, Jaime moaned softly and pressed upwards against her, unable to do anything but press back. He squeezed her tightly and licked his lips, feeling dry mouthed and dizzy. “I…I have…I have thought that too…”
“But not the way a man wants a woman,” she argued, even as she relaxed in his arms. Still, he was hard against her and it left her confused. “It’s for the best, Jaime,” she assured him, though her hands pressed against his thighs, moving upward.
“I will be sent away, and married to someone else before long. I’m nearly a woman grown,” she whispered, sighing. “I shouldn’t have these thoughts of you, I shouldn’t imagine you…” she stopped speaking, embarrassed by the thoughts she’d had of her brother, spurred by tales from other ladies in the castle.
Jaime held on tight to her, unable to let her go. He turned his head, pressing his mouth into her throat and didn’t move for a moment, just feeling her against him. He was still hard, harder than he could ever remember, and his head was spinning. “I…I want you…I want only you…”
He could feel his blood boil as she spoke about being married, being with someone else. Swallowing thickly, Jaime pulled his face away from her soft neck and spoke into her ear, his arms tight around her. “What, what do you imagine?”
She let him hold her because she knew she was wrong. Without him, she was only half a person, and perhaps not even the better half. His kiss to the back of her neck did nothing to stop the flood of feelings inside her, and she could still feel the hard length of him pressed into the small of her back.
He said no, she reminded herself. It doesn’t matter how his body reacts. His words were so stuttered and sparse, she couldn’t understand. “Say it, dear brother,” she said quietly. “Say you do not want me.”
Jaime closed his eyes and rested his forehead against her spine. He swallowed thickly, feeling his sister in his arms, the woman he loved more than anyway, even if they were still children. He didn’t know these feelings for anyone else, just here and he was beginning to realize what they meant, their implications.
He nuzzled against her and tightened his arms. “You know that’s not true…I do want you…”
She pulled away as if she’d been burned. Before her mind had even processed his rejection, her body had responded. On the edge of the bed, she wrapped her robe tighter around her body, her lips in a tight line. He didn’t want her like this, which left her all alone with feelings she knew she shouldn’t have.
“I-” but words failed her as tears threatened to spill again. No, she told herself. I will not cry. I am a loin, and I need no one.
Jaime swallowed, hands reaching for her even as she moved quickly away. Jaime hadn’t meant it to be a bad thing, he knew though that they needed to be careful. Moving slowly, as if trying to calm a skittish animal, Jaime laid his hands over her shoulders and moved them down and around until they were curled around her waist. He sat, his long legs on either side of her’s and her back pressed to his chest.
Jaime laid a soft kiss to the back of her neck, holdingher close. “I’m sorry…I didn’t want to upset you…we just…things need to be….” slower, stopped, talked about… Jaime was conflicted and didn’t know what he could possibly say to make this better.
She nodded, swallowing hard, feeling him grow harder against her thigh. Jaime’s body was as familiar as her own, their nakedness never having been something they’d tried to hide from each other; they were the same. As she leaned forward to touch their lips together again, this time softer than before, her hand followed down his chest, pushing under the blanket that separated them.
Tentatively, the tips of her fingers brushed against the front of his pants, feeling an old part of him in a new way. She wished she could see his face, but the room was too dark.
Jaime would have blushed, and perhaps he was, as Cersei moved. She seemed so confident, so secure in her knowledge of what she wanted and how she would get it, it left Jaime dizzy. He didn’t know what he wanted or what he was even going to do. He returned her kiss, panting softly into her mouth and dig his fingers into her back.
Her hand moving down his chest made Jaime nearly buck up, unable to help himself as she lightly touched him. He moaned when her fingers connected with his pants and he quickly pulled his hand away to cover hers. “Cersei no….no we….” He swallowed, unsure of what argument he could possibly give.